When I started this blog I had no idea what investing in happiness was. I had no idea how to go about starting it, let alone how I would know when I’ve checked it off my list. Happiness is fleeting, I can’t store it in a bank for later. There’s no return on investment. So why put it on the list at all?

Well, I added it to the list because I knew it was important.

This week I had an epiphany, as you do. I was finding work seriously tough. I was in that awful place of overwhelm, and I could sense everyone around me felt the same. There was a general lack of motivation, of support, of direction, even a lack of purpose. There was absolutely no hiding the fact that I was unhappy.

Thank goodness for four day weekends. Easter arrived just at the right time. I managed to get out of my own head, walk on the beach, and spend time with my love. I forgot about work, about the misery of the previous week, about the moaning and complaining. And I realised how unhappy I’d been, and how quickly that had turned me into a miserable person to be around.

Back at work on Tuesday I wanted to hold someone to account. To blame someone. To tell them how unhappy this situation was making me, and that something needed to change. I was expecting someone else to make a change that would make me happy.

Life doesn’t work like that.

Yes, people can bring you joy. Yes, people can hurt you. Or make life difficult, of interesting, or fun. But you cannot hold anyone but yourself to account for your own happiness. It’s not fair on them and it’s not fair on you.

Two things happened after that. I had lunch with some girls at work. We went to the canteen to buy our lunch, and instead of heading straight back to our desks to eat, we sat in the canteen. We took a lunch break, hallelujah! And we talked. We talked a lot. We talked about what wasn’t working in our team. No one was moaning or blaming or complaining. We were just voicing and supporting one another.

Over the next few days, we sent each other emails with talks that have helped us, events that we thought would be interesting, tips of dealing with challenging behaviours in our workplace. We empowered and supported each other. It felt incredible (thank-you girls). Long may it continue!

The second thing that happened was I went to a Ladies, Wine, Design talk. It just so happened to cover assertiveness and the power in saying no. We discussed the different reasons behind why saying that little word can be so difficult. We discussed different ways of saying no without saying no. We practiced power poses. During the talk I discussed my challenges with the other women, a painful stab of feeling unempowered, submissive even. As I left, I realised, that is not me. I can stand up for myself. I am unafraid to ask for what I want. I can change the narrative.

A little support goes a long way.

The next day at work, I spoke up. I made positive change. I voiced the feelings of the team, and have ensured that we take a more helpful, happy route in the future. I did that. I took control, and invested in my own happiness. How can you invest in yours?